All of the Bizarre Things Men Think About Pregnancy Sex

Where did the entire ‘poking the child’ thing also result from?

Offered our collective degree of horniness and interest, it will come as no real surprise that there’s a fetish that is whole moving away from on expecting mothers (or, as it is known by its fancy title, maiesiophilia). It’s such a kink that is increasingly popular Pornhub recently did a research onto it. The porn behemoth found that since 2014, looks for pregnancy porn went up almost 20 %, placing it someplace between “redheads” and “babysitters. ” (perthereforenally i think so observed! ) The most popular is “creampie, ” and the overall category itself is most popular in the Midwest among pregnancy-sex subcategories. (It’s as nutritious as apple cake! )

There’s even a rap track about any of it by UGK called Pussy that is“Pregnant, which distills the virtues of having up for the reason that babymaker while an infant remains in there. We don’t say this gently, nonetheless it may be among the filthiest things I’ve have you ever heard.

“Pregnant pussy is the better you may get, fucking the bitch while her child drawing cock. ” https: //t.co/Mt3YeZMHnu

What’s promising they’re knocked up due to all the hormones raging through their system, which increase blood flow to the pelvic region, making her wetter and increasing sensitivity in her breasts and nipples for you pregnancy-sex lovers out there is that women are usually super horny when. “After the very first trimester, it had been such as a switch fired up, early early morning nausea disappeared, strange cravings started, my hornyness shot through the roof. I became damp in the fall of the hat, ” one redditor writes sic throughout, obviously. “We had some pregnancy that is awesome and discovered brand brand brand new roles to support my growing belly. I understand my husband still appears right straight right back on those times as a number of the most readily useful sex we’ve had; as do I. ”

Fuck me up, maternity hormones!

Having said that, you can still find great deal of males who will be freaked down because of the concept. In Knocked Up, Judd Apatow made comedy away from these often absurd fears. In one single specific scene, while Katherine Heigl’s character, Alison, is self-conscious about her rounder human anatomy, Ben (Seth Rogen) is worried he’ll poke the infant. Even though it’s played for laughs, this scene has lots of truth to it: guys will find intercourse having a pregnant girl off-putting for numerous reasons — from the understandable towards the ridiculous.

A 36-year-old in L.A., had a traumatic experience with pregnancy sex on the former count, James. During their wife’s very first maternity, the couple abstained simply because they had been exceptionally paranoid it could harm the infant. “During our second pregnancy, we decided perhaps maybe maybe not sex that is havingn’t make any sense, ” he informs me. “We had intercourse through the very first trimester when, and miscarried about seven days later. The two of us understand it didn’t cause the miscarriage, but we couldn’t get within the relationship. We’re now expecting our child that is second and abstained once again. We realize that correlation does causation that is n’t equal however in our situation, expecting intercourse is in certain means accountable by relationship. ”

An anxiety about harming the child is pretty typical. Patrick, a 52-year-old in milf seduction videos Rhode Island, had been fine through the first trimester, but things got scarier for him into the 2nd, despite being a medical expert whom knew their worries weren’t predicated on technology. “i might have chosen to simply have offered her dental, but she didn’t desire exactly that, ” he claims. “We attempted to learn how to make it work well, but one thing had clicked within my head having said that the movement could be traumatic towards the child. ”

To that particular final end, similar to in Knocked Up, plenty of males have certain worries of poking the infant. There’s even a vintage joke you my daddy? About any of it: “A baby comes into the world and it is handed into the daddy, the infant asks, ‘Are’ the daddy responses proudly, ‘Yes, I’m your daddy. ’ Then your child begins viciously poking him from the forehead while screaming, ‘How does this feel, asshole?! ’”

Obviously, lots of men took a fear that is understandable the following degree, thinking that they’ll really dent the baby’s head. Reddit being Reddit, you will observe, then, lots of dudes joking so it’s the only chance they’ll ever have actually at a threesome. (the precise filthiness with this tryst I’ll keep to “Pregnant Pussy. ”) This type of talk, nevertheless, has led other dudes to wonder, “Am we a pedophile in cases where a fuck an expecting woman? ”

Which brings me personally to maybe probably the most fear that is irrational. I’ll let Chris, a 43-year-old from Florida, explain: “As I’ve gotten older, I’ve began finding expectant mothers increasingly more sexy. The one thing which makes me personally squeamish is though I understand that’s extremely hard. That personally i think like I’m coating the infant with jizz even”

I’m unhappy to share with you that we now have other Chrises on the market, too — i.e., dudes whom genuinely believe that their cum can pierce both the cervix and amniotic sac. Similar to this man on r/nostupidquestions:

Males really should just take some structure and health that is women’s. Nevertheless when you are doing males, keep in mind, often you can find stupid concerns.

Desi Jedeikin

Desi Jedeikin is really an author located in Los Angeles. She co-hosts the podcast Hollywood Crime Scene and contains plenty of things in development which will most likely never ever take place. She wastes lot of the time on Twitter @desijed.